It was more than six years since Myrah and Kabeer were married. They knew each other since under-grad and after a steady five year old relationship, decided to tie the knot with parents consent. The initial years of marriage were good, just as it is for any couple. But things started to fall apart gradually after the third year. Kabeer, unwillingly, left his well settled and comfortable job for a career in writing. He always wanted to be a writer but the constraints and expectations of domestic life had bound him in fetters. When Myrah supported him in this decision and convinced that there was no better time than then to do what he wanted to do, he left the reins of the house in the hands of Myrah completely. They knew the storm they were getting into but they were optimistic enough to beat it. They felt their love was enough but they underplayed the role their will power had to play in this journey of theirs.
Kabeer took to writing full time while Myrah continued with her job. She worked in a MNC and was earning enough to take care of the bills and rents, if not save a lot. This continued for a while until Myrah started falling sick frequently. She was diagnosed with CKD stage 5. Frequent dialysis and treatment ate up a significant part of their savings. Even though her company paid for the major part of it, their savings completely dried up by the end of her treatment. Things got a bit complicated when parents came into the picture. All of them were unaware of Kabeer being unemployed for over a year.While Kabeer's parents held Myrah responsible for the ongoing expenses, Myrah's parents questioned Kabeer's capability of earning.This unnecessary blame game between their parents forced them to ask their parents to leave them for good.
After Myrah came back from hospital, Kabeer decided to leave his budding career for a company job. He felt it was better for Myrah to take rest for a while while he took care of the house. He knew that it would take him some time to get his works published and subsequently earn him the money. But neither did he have the time nor the patience then. Myrah didn't want him to but her physical condition and their financial position advised otherwise. She took a sabbatical for two years from her company and rested at home while Kabeer took to job hunt. But it wasn't easy to get a job after a career break, as opposed to what Kabeer or Myrah had thought. Entrepreneurship or a break to do something on your own doesn't always go down well with recruiters. Kabeer had a tough time to be employed back. Every job offer that he had in hand was offering him less than he deserved. His degree or his ego wasn't allowing him to accept it. In the meanwhile, their Provident Fund was their sole source of income. Their parents tried to help but Kabeer and Myrah have had enough. They simply refused and after a while due to their continued persistence, lied to them about Kabeer's job. Things did not improve even after a year. Kabeer was losing his confidence quicker than his PF. Their marriage had taken a toll too. Unemployment, lack of social life, tight budgets and every other negative sentiment had taken precedence over their love.
After another 6 months of continued failure at getting a job/pay of his satisfaction, Kabeer accepted the post of a junior executive in a small company. He felt it would put an end to the growing tensions between Myrah and him, at least temporarily. But he was wrong. Myrah wanted their marriage to move to the next level now. She wanted them to have a child. Kabeer was totally against it. He felt they were not fully prepared to entertain this decision for another year at least. Myrah tried to reason with him but in vain. In the meanwhile, her sabbatical was over by then and she had resumed her job recently. But the break had changed a lot of things for her at office, She did not get the recognition she used to get. There was a huge pressure on her in terms of working hours, commitments and travel at office. She was being treated as if she took a paid leave all this while. She wanted to start her career afresh but upon careful self-counselling, she felt she should get back to job after her maternity leave once and for all. In Kabeer's defense, he wanted a year to settle down properly. Their growing differences in decisions and willingness led to further crack in their marriage until one night when the blame game shifted to each other rather than anyone else. They exchanged heated words, glares with emotions welling up high on both sides and finally sleeping over the fight, unresolved.
Next day morning, Myrah left home for no specific destination. She felt life was too unfair to her. In her cognition, her dreams or her wishes weren't too ambitious to be denied to her. She felt her marriage which was until then her strongest pillar, was also crumbling down. Her failed attempts at motherhood further eroded her optimism about life.Nothing was going right. She didn't know what to do. She felt she wanted a break from everything to fix it all. Even from Kabeer.
She walked and walked until she saw someone familiar standing in front of her, smiling at her and murmuring a few words too but her inner noise had submerged her into a calm unknown. Finally she was ousted out of her self.
"Hi Myrah.. How are you? Been a long time!!"- said she.
Myrah tried hard to recognize and the name almost came to her lips but she still could not remember.
"Myrah!!!!Myrah!!!"
"Anshiiiii!!! Where were you? How are you? You completely disappeared after college. I called you so many times. But you never picked up.What's up with you?" - cried out Myrah.
She looked at Anshi as if the latter had come out of the ashes. Anshi smiled. Then they hugged each other tight.
"Let's go to the nearby cafe. I will answer each and every question of yours." - said Anshi.
Having ordered two cappuccinos, the two friends continued with their conversation...
Anshi, Myrah and Kabeer were engineering friends. While Myrah and Kabeer went ahead with further higher studies, Anshi joined a PSU. Despite being close friends, Anshi had distanced herself from Myrah after a few months of graduating from college. In fact she was not in contact with anyone. Anshi dated one of their batchmates, named Aariz during college. The fate of the relationship, being inter-religious, was unknown then. Aariz however married a girl from his own religion later. Kabeer and Myrah got to know it through social media. The relationship got over from that day for everyone else at least.
Three cappuccinos got over, the sun too was about to retire but the two friends seemed to be there to think deep and conspire. Finally they asked for the cheque. While Myrah tried to pay for it, Anshi snatched it from her and smiled back saying "Let this one be on me". They hugged each other tight before bidding bye and when Myrah invited Anshi over to her place, Anshi told "Next Time. When life's better." They smiled at each other and headed in opposite directions.
On her way back, Myrah could not stop thinking. But this time it wasn't about her. All of a sudden, her life seemed good. Few things were not fair but they could all be set right. Everyone, she realized, had their own share of darkness. He/She who waited patiently for the sun might/will see the end of the night. There was no point trying to fix life. It will happen the way it is destined to. We can only fix ourselves and the way we chose to deal with it. She could not but help admire Anshi now.
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"My father opposed my marriage with Aariz. But I was stubborn too. I made it clear to my parents that I would not come home until they agreed to my marriage with him. Neither my parents took a step forward in this nor I. Initially my father and I would still talk to each other about everything else but for Aariz. Later, however, my father stopped talking to me. My mother told me that he was ill and that he wanted to see me. I did not believe them and accused them of emotionally blackmailing me. We stopped talking for about a year until one day I got to know that Aariz was getting married to someone else. I could not blame Aariz either. He had waited for me for more than 2 years, as promised. I had always decided to be true to both my loves - my parents and Aariz. So I decided never to marry and wished Aariz good luck for his future. I headed to home that day to tell my parents how their stubbornness had succeeded and yet failed. Upon reaching home, I found out that my father had expired seven months back. I didn't know what to do, what to prove and whom to prove. My ego, my pride, my decision - nothing mattered in the face of my father's death. Despite all this, my mother hugged me and probably cried far more than she had cried the day my father died."
"After six months, I married Kushal. It was a match arranged by my uncles and aunties. Kushal was from a well to do and good family. He was working in a software firm. I left my job to shift to a metro where he was working. My mother was happy for me and probably I was happy too, more for my mother than for myself. I felt I had undone the damage I did earlier to some extent by this marriage. But the truth was, I was indeed happily married. Kushal is a caring and loving husband and a good son too. We were blessed with a baby girl after 2 years of our marriage. Everyone and everything around us seemed to be happy and good. It was our daughter's first birthday and Kushal was returning from office that day to be with us for the celebrations. He met with a car accident. Fortunately he was saved but due to heavy injuries, he went into a coma. He still is in coma. I became a living corpse thereafter. I was unable to figure out why these things happened to me and only me. I started questioning everything in life. I went into a self-denial mode. But when my in laws put my baby girl in my laps, I found a sense of purpose in my life. I was living not only for myself but for others around me too. I grew optimistic about Kushal too. At least I can still sense his breath. I felt lucky against hundreds of others who had lost their kith and kin in this and other such accidents and mishaps. I hugged my baby girl tight and took her close to Kushal and made her touch against his forehead. It gave me a different sense of satisfaction and happiness."
" Ayushi is two years old now. Few days back, she was diagnosed with a condition in her heart for which she will have to use a VAD later in her life. I am not amazed. I have started counting my blessings before it becomes too few. Everything in our life is beyond our control, except for the state of our mind. Either I run away from it or I face it as it comes. The choice is mine. I still believe that I have good days ahead. If God had to take away Kushal and Ayushi from me, he would have done it earlier. He is just testing me. And I will patiently get tested with the hope that life gets better and fair."
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Myrah had reached home. She hurried towards the bedroom to find Kabeer. She had decided to hug him and tell him that "Everything will be all right Sweetheart. I am with you." There was a different glint in her eyes. The eyes of hope. She was happy after a long time. Strange it is, but sometimes we human beings, find our happiness amidst the turmoil of others. That again is life and we.
Finally she opened the door of her bed room and stood aghast.
If only Kabeer met Anshi!
