A figment of imagination it seems now but in reality knowing this soul has been one of the loveliest chapters of my life. Every individual that we come across in our life’s odyssey is a stranger at the first instance but only when certain unknown yet familiar chord strikes do we embark upon a relationship- sometimes it has a name and sometimes it doesn’t but the essence lies in the beauteous way that we lived it.
This is dedicated to one of those momentous trysts I would always love to remember.
I was going through one of the darkest phases of my life-dreams shattered and aspirations buried both professionally n personally. It was then when I seeked Orkut for refuge coz human souls were the last persons one would love to face at such times of crisis…they somehow manage to strip off the hypo critic self deep within (- so glamorously smiling even when a thousand waves are breaking at the shores of their heart) and make reality ubiquitous.Orkut seemed to be a welcome change. Friends…acquaintances…communities…fans…testimonials…blogs…and last but not the least were the unknown realm of strangers whom I never wanted to befriend with!!!
But this time it was different…I never knew why or may be I never wanted to know!!!
The tryst had its roots from his name…his identity didn’t matter but that we had a common friend did. Somehow we managed to complete those 3 F’S-first rules of formality in friendship in our rudimentary mails. I still dint have any inkling dat this bond which had begun so casually would bring that person so close to me later on. I always did and still do acknowledge my inclination towards this friendship for his impeccable English. Though I don’t know about his parlance for the same coz we hardly ever spoke other than our mother tongue but his mails were definitely pieces of fine literature to me. I always held English as my passion and he had the flair. Mails n occasional chats…that were how it had its genesis.
Within a few days of two strangers changing over to friends(world’s most cherished kinship) I could sense I had come in touch with one of the most sensible souls I ever came across…mind blowing sense of hypocrisy he had… yet the dint in him to understand human emotions most beautifully amazed me. He was known for being a genius in academics…a computer geek…a student of one of the most elite institutes…blah blah blah… but to me all of this meant nothing. For me he was always a prankster…a friend who always had his ears for my incessant chatter n my uncanny thoughts…a decoder…a radical thinker n a soul who virtually breathed novels…
I could share nething under the sun with him…happiness dint ask for provocation but woes did. And I was sure the next moment I lived was sanguine. The renaissance had begun to show its colour in me…I was coming out of my cocoon of idiosyncrasies n moments that once seemed to torture their presence in my heart had begun weaning. I had started living in the present. But to those people who felt that he dint have his share of story...I must say you are mistaken. He too was a human n most importantly a man. Love was one emotion which every individual experienced n trust me his love was… n still is… so stark n so bonafide that I admired him for the same. I believed love to be a confession n he believed it was true friendship (just like the leading pairs of the magical trio) but both of us agreed its reciprocation was immaterial. Apart from these emotional facets we had our own share of asking each other treats…teasing…crushes...novels…and all those sweet nothings that two friends shared….I was oblivious of the fact that we had become good friends…real good friends…all dis while.
The first time we talked…I was nervous (I still wonder for that was blue moon for an extrovert like me) but as I got to know his voice… he sounded to me no less than any commerce graduate cycling on the college streets…insouciant…nonchalant…ever ready to cone treats for reasons funny n weird…a great sense of humour spiced with flippancy n topped with revelling chivalry but deep down his heart …a friend for a life time. But the most fascinating episode of this lovely tryst was that he had no idea of how I looked like n I couldn’t recognize him in any snap apart from the one his orkut profile sported. It was extraneous coz our friendship was based on trust even though we were miles apart…based on faith rather than freak outs…n it was beautiful…unadulterated. We knew each other well n understood our friendship’s nitty gritty.
To err is human…I always believed but I dint know I would jeopardize our friendship in failing to demarcate between fine emotions.Incitations were encouraging earlier …but this time it posed against my principles…still I gave in for the sake of our friendship but perhaps there was where I erred. Our friendship started tottering just like the castle of dreams built in open air…n I was a part of the reason behind this. Days passed by but dis time not at a fleeting pace coz they were days of agony. Just like any ordinary person under extraordinary pressure would behave…I tried to mend old ties…finally we met and I acted appalling obtuse…things dint better intrinsically for me neither was there any kind of compulsion to but we had made up our minds to start our friendship afresh…n that was better …much better for both of us…And finally on the eve of new year impressions of this tryst had a different savor…and I had started realizing and repenting for my folly that caused it all…it again dint count coz I believed we were friends again…and I was feeling choked to share my happiness that had started crowning me…all those reasons for which once I sought this tryst a recourse had started giving way to sunny mornings…I was reciprocated with a confession I always died for n this time I wanted to share this with him…someone whom I held one of my best friends…but destiny and may be life had a different flavour for it…and in a span of seventeen days of our friendship breathing brisk …events turned it topsy turvy…
Certain things in life seem so involuntary that you curse yourself if you cant help it fight against your ego…misunderstandings n breach of trust are a few of them. Even if you try to…you just can’t let it go. Even the kindest of souls will seek exception from this coz when heart gets hurt…it finds no solace however justified it may be. The only healer is time but your ego has taken you far ahead of those times when you could turn round …forget bitter times and shake hands. It’s not possible to look beyond. The person you severe your ties with may not be the sole person responsible but ego lets u go blind and its just not human to forgive…it takes to be divine.(I still remember the concept of the galaxy but trust me its difficult to implement practically…I accept I have my own ego n m human…).At times I repent…try to mull over where things went wrong…I find reasons…enough space to go back but when I think of the lovely times our beautiful friendship experienced…m held back…I don’t want to regress…
… Coz I believe “the best” is a one time impression.
I never thought the tryst to end this way…from unknown voices to known souls... submerged and dead under the mires of time but those anonymous feelings I realized later were impressions of fine friendship…”the best” ones…as ever…
