So long...

It isn't always love at first sight. Sometimes when we meet someone for the first time, we never realize how important that person might become in our life later. Its just a probability and it is justified because we do meet a lot of people. But 'distance' does that magic to us - to cognize if that person actually made a difference to our life? My story is no different. With every single day of our being not together, I understood how much we were meant for each other. All that I am holding onto today is our memories - memory indeed is a funny thing. It gives you an irreplaceable sadistic pleasure.

When I first met him, I hated him. To be precise, I was indifferent to him. I was perfectly in love with someone else. I had my so called 'ideal' love story with my ex. I was in sync with my life. Family approved it and so did everyone else around us. I always wanted to play the role of being the 'ideal' everywhere and so it never bothered me to understand if I really wanted it. I just took whatever came my way and for this person - I had gone to my extreme ends to be together. He was the perfect gentleman. So this new change in my life- I don't think if I was really prepared for it. 

My indifference was grounded on a lot of reasons - he was messed up, suffocating and too plaintive. But what I hated about him was the extreme shades of his personality. At one instance, he would be so full of life, so ambitious and so gorgeous while there were times when I would see this 'troubled' part of him - selfish, lonely, hypocritic and of course too dark. I never bothered to understand him in the initial few days of our meet. For me it was just a matter of time and this too would pass. I always waited to go back to my ex. But this guy had a huge ego. He was loved by way too many people to let go of this pride of his.He wanted me too. He knew I was a tough one at that probably. But he still did try in his own unique way by letting time and natural instinct decide.

He scored his maiden with my first monsoon experience at Marine Drive. It was one of those evenings when I just wanted to be by myself and my thoughts. Even though I was with a lot of people that evening, I did manage to find my own little fairy of solitude. He was with us too. He managed to evince that cheer from all of them but with me, I was sceptical. I probably didn't want him to influence me with his charm. But I lost it to him that day - partially. He gave me a hug I will never ever forget, without saying anything. His touch and his feel was enough for me to break the facade of 'unwillingness' towards him. I befriended him that night on our way back as we sped past in my first ever local train trip. With time, I got to know him better and his multifaceted personality which once upon a time I detested had begun to attract me. His pace was fast and he never slowed him. He taught me how to fight back failure straight at its face. At times I thought he was too caught up with the rat race but I was wrong. He had this unusual degree of access built around him. It depended if he wanted to be caught up or just put a brake right there. He just knew it right - all the time. I was in awe of his fierce independence and stormy freedom.

With him, I explored this other side of me which even though I was aware of, did not want it to be known. I started living life for myself, did things I thought was impossible earlier and most of all I was fearless of what others thought about me because he had instilled in me just this one thought - you don't deserve to be judged by those who care for you and for the rest, it doesn't ever matter. His tall lofty aims helped me see my own dream and pursue big. He was simple and yet so elegant in his own way. His rough nature didn't seem to bother me anymore. In fact I loved him for that because life wasn't always supposed to be so velvety all the time. There was a different sense of accomplishment with him. I felt so complete and so grown up with him. The maturity he evoked in me - I am in love with myself today for that.

It was pretty late when I realized how much he had grown up on me. I had broken up with my ex and very comfortably moved on. In fact when I last visited my past,  I was happy for the past memoirs but I didn't miss him as much. My present was way too better and I knew I would finally settle here. But this guy had an insatiable greed in him to make every single soul fall in love with him. There was one thing I had not realized till now about him though- he was just like the running water. He never settled down with anyone. He kept making a difference to every new girl/guy on his path and left them with no choice but admiring him and longing for him. For me, it was a life changing experience and I am not mad at him for what he did to me. Because I left him - out of compulsion. But I still am madly in love with him as much as I miss him because I know I have lived my life with him and will never find someone as awesome as him.

(For those of you who have been thinking who the guy is - he is none other than 'Mumbai' who I chose over my ex - 'Bangalore.' You ought to give it the time it deserves to make you fall in love truly madly and deeply with him.)