Voice Within.....

Nothing better than this could have expressed my thoughts for you today..... " When thou shalt be disposed to set me light,

And place my merit in the eye of scorn,

Upon thy side against myself I'll fight,

And prove thee virtuous, though thou art forsworn.

With mine own weakness being best acquainted,

Upon thy part I can set down a story

Of faults conceal'd, wherein I am attainted,

That thou in losing me shalt win much glory:

And I by this will be a gainer too;

For bending all my loving thoughts on thee,

The injuries that to myself I do,

Doing thee vantage, double-vantage me.

Such is my love, to thee I so belong,

That for thy right myself will bear all wrong. " ~ Shakespeare

Impressions Indelible…

(A codicil to Impressions anonymous…)

I was wrong when I felt
“It’s not possible to look beyond…m held back…I don’t want to regress…”

Because…

We are edging ahead in our friendship immaculately and have begun to understand the essence of it letting go of our damn egos. Those eight months of silence have been a hallmark. The misunderstanding…the malignance…unbearable suffocation…the choke…tears…bitterness…separation…repentance…helplessness and hypocrisy …everything has been killed now with just one mail .You know what…I admire him for the right reasons :)

I don’t know what was it that I was waiting for. I could have tried mending old ties but still I didn’t…perhaps there lies my being human coz I never falter erring ;). I still remember the evening which brought me back the part of my life which was missing…an integral thread attached to it. There was something different…something unusual. A sense of loneliness had gripped me strong. I had stopped checking mails on my Yahoo Account and it was not until a month or so that I was generous towards it. But that eventide I logged in and to my utter dismay there wasn’t a single mail worth reading. Quite expected …Gmail rules my day nowadays. I was about to delete them all but there was this simple word which could bring a smile on everyone’s lips corona ting the subject of one of the mails… a “Hi” that caught my attention. The sender’s name seemed so familiar…but I had to pinch myself twice to ascertain it. I could have never felt so better reading any of his earlier mails than this time. It was not lengthy neither did it bear any kind of formality… but it had the dint in it to thaw the ice in our friendship subtly. It brought me back my smile…my friend…and above all my trust.

I dint know how to start the conversation with…should it be another of those “hi’s” (the most meaningful word I have ever come across) or a “thr” (as I usually start off with) or just a smile (As I rarely do ;)). But once we started talking …trust me I didn’t feel the unwanted hiatus that had grappled us once. It was so nice…so pleasant talking to him and after all those months I had many things to share too (that included the reasons he keeps on asking me treats today: P).Things had changed a lot…if not in his life but definitely in mine…but happily the persons were still the same :). Since then life has set sail smoothly…and I have nothing to brood over. The colors of life are myriad and reasons for happiness infinite…we just have to search and make them a part of our beautiful life and our extraordinary psyche.

I don’t feel the awkwardness any more…neither do I have to be hypo critic.I am the way I am…candid and felicitous. I can still share anything under the sun with him. He hasn’t changed either nor has his self proclamations of being handsome ;)…flippant and frivolous as always. I think I have begun to know him much better now…as a friend and as a person both. Things could have got better much earlier had I read the comments on my earlier blogpost but Ididn’t. If I start counting the number of times I have failed to make thingsbetter…I would live all my life with an unforgiving guilt. When life’s good why should I look back for the wrong reasons? Destiny finds its way.

I guess I have met a soul who could be loved…hated but never ignored. He has an estimable ego in him and is a knight heart and soul. Falling apart with him was a lovely experience…a memorable chapter of my life’s odyssey because it has taught me to be divine. Life’s the greatest teacher… thanks to the persons who have beautified it.

I believe he became a part of my life for a reason…and has decked it with unflawed footprints.
The “best” is definitely a one time impression but the traces of it are always indelible.

This tryst has silenced the stormy thoughts of dubious glances. It had submerged but never got uprooted and today it rises above all fetters with no strings attached. The impressions of this fine friendship will continue to be “the best” ones…as ever.

Stay tuned!!!

This space is dedicated to one of those few inspirational numbers which can bring a difference in one’s life.

Here are a few lines that personally appeal me.

“Khoya sab kucch toh kya hua
Paane ka ab mujhey hai junoon …”

“Ansoo agar bhi miley
hasne ka hai junoon…”

“Sapnon ko fir sajaye
umeedon ko jagaye…”

“Suni raaho mein bhi humsafar ka junoon…..”

It’s nothing but the philosopher’s stone for the ignited minds in us. Not only does it inspire us to achieve the zenith with a fanatic bent of mind but also the perfect embodiment of exemplary optimism. Each n every line has the drive in it to push us forward and to pursue our dreams with an indomitable determination.

The passion to live n to wake up the soporific expectations in us finds an ultimate niche. It’s a call to deck our ambitions…to fire potential desires…have the flair to talk n live up to one’s promises with panache. No matter if one loses in the skirmishes of life…he has battles to fight which calls for a triumphant pluck. Even in one’s tears the drive to keep smiling marks the desire to excel. If one can feel the passion in one’s eyes…in his words…in his failures n in his success…in his commitments…in his dreams...in his destination…he can find his soul mate even in the corridors of solitude.

The Passion of Christ finds its ultimate in this vocal…food for pristine thoughts!!

Subtle Seven...

No promises to be broken

No desires to fulfill
Neither do I expect You
To be with me in moments
Euphoric or still.....

That you are a part of me
My yesterday n my tomorrow
Is what I know
But all that I would always celebrate is You
Understanding me more n more.....

The best thing that has ever happened or could ever have been a part of this beautiful life of mine is definitely "you" and for all the times when u ask me if i loved you.....

Its always "I DO"

Class Apart...

I am befuddled at times when I get to cognize people getting intimidated by whom they term “class apart” but in this fussy itinerary of life where mediocrity rules and uniqueness lies latent, does this “class apart” genre genuinely deserves the attention it gets. I beg to differ.

Every other day I get to listen about some admirable facet in some estimable persona …ruling the minds of the plebian. The fetters of generalization aren’t yet arcane that we shall begin succumbing to another of the social maladies. Don’t get me wrong. I am not against admiring anybody but I definitely am not in for idolizing a mortal .There are a myriad factors deciding the success index of an individual and one can never classify the capabilities and potential without placing them on a common platform. Being an attaboy or an attagirl isn’t easy…I agree but don’t u think there’s definitely radical about every person and if one realizes this potency, it paves the way to the apogee.

There’s a fine line of demarcation between admiration n apotheosis. One admires when he/she finds the other prodigious and is eager to carve a niche for his own…to get identified. It’s when you try to delve deep into your self and discover that “extraordinariness”…that passion to excel and succeed and be a winner driving your admirers crazy…be a genesis to your class of progeny. But when you exalt it vindicates failure…surrender…an ignominy to your singularity. There’s nothing as perfect as perfect. When you are human…when you are a part of the taxon “class apart”…wherein lays the necessity to search divinity or relegate?

Each one of us has the fire in him/her to be admired but none to be idolized lest you have come across a sycophant or an adolescent.

Femininity's Essence...

Sometimes she finds it difficult to breathe her entire life and sometimes she feels she lived it all in those few seconds….. And those few moments.

It’s in her felicitous face and cherubic innocence…..when she means the entire world for the two most selfless people on this earth…..a genesis to the beauties of life. A progeny to the expectations n aspirations of many…..to realize dreams which her mother wanted to…..n to make her father proud with her accomplishments. Everything that she does speaks the way she has been brought up…..the values she has imbibed…..the principles she has been taught n the culture she belongs to…..You find your daughter in her.

It’s when she is in the laps of the soul who envies her for the attention she gets…..caresses her n begins getting concerned in her puerility…..when she still is being considered that naughty little kid she had been all along. She lets all secrets out to her…..ties that sacred thread of love on his hands…..is a part of all those spicy nothings n piquant thefts…..in all those altercations…..pillow fights…..dining talks…..in all those hugs n in all those words which take her to realize the heights of life.....You find your sibling in her.

It’s when she doesn’t miss a class even when the mercury is soaring high…..writing notes….learning by rote…..completing assignments…..n in listening to all those words of wisdom. Her success n her achievements bring admiration n recognition…..her talent…..her sincerity…..the devotion n her verity speak volumes of the tenets of erudition she is crowned with…..You find your student in her.

It’s when she confides in you…..understands you…..lends her shoulder for your tired soul to lean on in times of happiness n sorrows n even in times in between. In your need…..solace…..exalt…..loneliness…..the one individual whom u can always look up to with no expectations to meet…..with no promises to break…..with no errs to fall apart…..no pretensions…..no hypocrisy…..no pride…..no prejudice…..far from the egos…..away from apprehensions n fears…..standing loft with the best moments lived…..no strings attached…..You find your friend in her.

It’s when she rediscovers herself and the passion in her…..an ignited mind which fights for the love she craves for…..knowing him more n more. Every time her eyes met his, an unknown emotion of blush creeps in breaking the camouflage which even her mother failed to do in all these years. The crimson in her betrays her fortitude…..her ego…..her will and she surrenders herself totally. Her fantasies turn into fanciful realities and seraphic pulchritude. She understands…..cares…..adds meaning to one’s life and falls in for the best emotion as ever…..You discover your love in her.

It’s when you find yourself in her…..realize that she is the one….when her smile dawns the day bright for you n when she indeed understands you. You discover happiness in her patience…..her concern…..her possessiveness…..acceptance…..and coy NO’s. She proves to be an elixir for your tiredness…..a balm for your stresses…..a question to your felicity…..an answer to your passions…..and a prop in your silence. She shares it all….loves you heart n soul. You just can’t imagine a life without her…..so void…..so dull…..embrace a dependency that you take pride in…..n enamors you for the person you are. She makes you feel complete.....You find your soul mate…..your wife in her.

It’s when she gives you birth…..nurtures you…..n you are a part of her. You find her in your footprints…..alphabets…..hymns…..didactics…..tenets….values n dictions….refinement…..personality n in anything n everything that u find a definition to. She is with you in ur maladies….ur errs….ignominies….ur failure n in ur success….ur ideals n she literally breathes in you. Her tirades teach you the direction you got to sail through…..her tears held u back…..her words fondle you n gives you the best of life. You find your mother in her.

It’s not where her odyssey ends…..rather the beginning to cognize the essence in her femininity more n more…..

Guitar moods.....

A walk on a moonlit night with the waves gently kissing the sands…
A candle lit dinner in a glass penthouse…
A long drive among the woods an autumn evening…
A waltz in the rain…


Speaking love softly in the stillness of the night…
Surreptitious glances…
Evening charms…melting moments…
And in all those careless whispers…



A ride when the whole world sleeps…
Feelings…expressions…passions…
Long odysseys…
And in sweet nothings…

In compliments…subtle coyness…n in holding hands…
In nearness…in faraway ness…
In all those waits…and reveries…
In Bated breaths…unspoken words…n in your trusted promises…


You sing to me the rhythm of love…..

Impressions anonymous...

A figment of imagination it seems now but in reality knowing this soul has been one of the loveliest chapters of my life. Every individual that we come across in our life’s odyssey is a stranger at the first instance but only when certain unknown yet familiar chord strikes do we embark upon a relationship- sometimes it has a name and sometimes it doesn’t but the essence lies in the beauteous way that we lived it.


This is dedicated to one of those momentous trysts I would always love to remember.

I was going through one of the darkest phases of my life-dreams shattered and aspirations buried both professionally n personally. It was then when I seeked Orkut for refuge coz human souls were the last persons one would love to face at such times of crisis…they somehow manage to strip off the hypo critic self deep within (- so glamorously smiling even when a thousand waves are breaking at the shores of their heart) and make reality ubiquitous.Orkut seemed to be a welcome change. Friends…acquaintances…communities…fans…testimonials…blogs…and last but not the least were the unknown realm of strangers whom I never wanted to befriend with!!!


But this time it was different…I never knew why or may be I never wanted to know!!!


The tryst had its roots from his name…his identity didn’t matter but that we had a common friend did. Somehow we managed to complete those 3 F’S-first rules of formality in friendship in our rudimentary mails. I still dint have any inkling dat this bond which had begun so casually would bring that person so close to me later on. I always did and still do acknowledge my inclination towards this friendship for his impeccable English. Though I don’t know about his parlance for the same coz we hardly ever spoke other than our mother tongue but his mails were definitely pieces of fine literature to me. I always held English as my passion and he had the flair. Mails n occasional chats…that were how it had its genesis.

Within a few days of two strangers changing over to friends(world’s most cherished kinship) I could sense I had come in touch with one of the most sensible souls I ever came across…mind blowing sense of hypocrisy he had… yet the dint in him to understand human emotions most beautifully amazed me. He was known for being a genius in academics…a computer geek…a student of one of the most elite institutes…blah blah blah… but to me all of this meant nothing. For me he was always a prankster…a friend who always had his ears for my incessant chatter n my uncanny thoughts…a decoder…a radical thinker n a soul who virtually breathed novels…

I could share nething under the sun with him…happiness dint ask for provocation but woes did. And I was sure the next moment I lived was sanguine. The renaissance had begun to show its colour in me…I was coming out of my cocoon of idiosyncrasies n moments that once seemed to torture their presence in my heart had begun weaning. I had started living in the present. But to those people who felt that he dint have his share of story...I must say you are mistaken. He too was a human n most importantly a man. Love was one emotion which every individual experienced n trust me his love was… n still is… so stark n so bonafide that I admired him for the same. I believed love to be a confession n he believed it was true friendship (just like the leading pairs of the magical trio) but both of us agreed its reciprocation was immaterial. Apart from these emotional facets we had our own share of asking each other treats…teasing…crushes...novels…and all those sweet nothings that two friends shared….I was oblivious of the fact that we had become good friends…real good friends…all dis while.

The first time we talked…I was nervous (I still wonder for that was blue moon for an extrovert like me) but as I got to know his voice… he sounded to me no less than any commerce graduate cycling on the college streets…insouciant…nonchalant…ever ready to cone treats for reasons funny n weird…a great sense of humour spiced with flippancy n topped with revelling chivalry but deep down his heart …a friend for a life time. But the most fascinating episode of this lovely tryst was that he had no idea of how I looked like n I couldn’t recognize him in any snap apart from the one his orkut profile sported. It was extraneous coz our friendship was based on trust even though we were miles apart…based on faith rather than freak outs…n it was beautiful…unadulterated. We knew each other well n understood our friendship’s nitty gritty.

To err is human…I always believed but I dint know I would jeopardize our friendship in failing to demarcate between fine emotions.Incitations were encouraging earlier …but this time it posed against my principles…still I gave in for the sake of our friendship but perhaps there was where I erred. Our friendship started tottering just like the castle of dreams built in open air…n I was a part of the reason behind this. Days passed by but dis time not at a fleeting pace coz they were days of agony. Just like any ordinary person under extraordinary pressure would behave…I tried to mend old ties…finally we met and I acted appalling obtuse…things dint better intrinsically for me neither was there any kind of compulsion to but we had made up our minds to start our friendship afresh…n that was better …much better for both of us…And finally on the eve of new year impressions of this tryst had a different savor…and I had started realizing and repenting for my folly that caused it all…it again dint count coz I believed we were friends again…and I was feeling choked to share my happiness that had started crowning me…all those reasons for which once I sought this tryst a recourse had started giving way to sunny mornings…I was reciprocated with a confession I always died for n this time I wanted to share this with him…someone whom I held one of my best friends…but destiny and may be life had a different flavour for it…and in a span of seventeen days of our friendship breathing brisk …events turned it topsy turvy…

Certain things in life seem so involuntary that you curse yourself if you cant help it fight against your ego…misunderstandings n breach of trust are a few of them. Even if you try to…you just can’t let it go. Even the kindest of souls will seek exception from this coz when heart gets hurt…it finds no solace however justified it may be. The only healer is time but your ego has taken you far ahead of those times when you could turn round …forget bitter times and shake hands. It’s not possible to look beyond. The person you severe your ties with may not be the sole person responsible but ego lets u go blind and its just not human to forgive…it takes to be divine.(I still remember the concept of the galaxy but trust me its difficult to implement practically…I accept I have my own ego n m human…).At times I repent…try to mull over where things went wrong…I find reasons…enough space to go back but when I think of the lovely times our beautiful friendship experienced…m held back…I don’t want to regress…

… Coz I believe “the best” is a one time impression.


I never thought the tryst to end this way…from unknown voices to known souls... submerged and dead under the mires of time but those anonymous feelings I realized later were impressions of fine friendship…”the best” ones…as ever…

Summer strings...

Spending holidays in a metro!!! Well eyeing the Utopian spirits that I dream of n the scorching heat…its sheer masochism…an anathema I would say. For me hill stations were…are... and will always be the perfect progenitors of serenity and tranquility…

A bunch of seraphic orchids…An incredible vista…

I am not one of those itinerant individuals who fail to draw the fine line of demarcation between obstreperous celebrations and crepuscular moments .I always longed to be a coeval of Wordsworth …letting my imagination fly high amidst the odoriferous woods of the autumn verisimilar to those English country sides - a reparation of the impuissant nature today and far away from the sophisticated troglodytes…promiscuous nights…ego centric hearts…fussy itineraries and lucubrate air. Scurrilous remarks and ribaldry seem so consanguineous nowadays-ingredients of a perfect jetsam and living are tangential…we basically survive. Metros-the supposititious tech parks and hubs of learning and opportunities have mechanized life but when one tries to measure the iota of content that individuals have in these bullish cities…its exceptionable .I know not why m delving deep into such contentious issues or if m I excoriating metros but my idea of stark holidaying would always be the country sides …

…I call them motes of heaven.

Frozen emotions...

Desires win over dreams when I come to think

Of voicing my thoughts
Waking up to a new dawn
A feeling of all those firsts, and
The sense of getting things done.

An identity isn’t just what I seek
Knowing my brethren too seems bleak
Sufferings for crime unknown
O mother…I could be your daughter…your son.

Still wondering the hue my life would have taken
Facing a world new…having moments unforgotten
I crave not for the soul who laid my grave here…but
For the sentience of your love…your motherhood even out here.

careless whisper...

For all those moments

of my cryptic silence...

frustration...

n a sense of indifference...

my breathlessness...

eccentricity...

anger...my unendurable moodiness

unreasonable solitude...

storming passions...tenacious foible

n the pegasus in me ....

BREWED wid

that caressing smile of yours...

a shoulder which I could always lean on...

an unassailable patience....

the care..the concern I craved for....

for that subtle presence...

and moments which I will cherish forever....

For being wat u were n what u are...for making me feel so elysian....

n for understanding me more n more n more.....

and today before u ask me...lemme tell u..

our friendship means to me one of the best assets I could ever wish or dream for ...

and acknowledge it isnt just friendship but a little bit more....

uncanny psyche...

Its orphic to delve deep into one's nous.Remarkably protean,one simply marvels at the pulchritude with which it portrays the quintessence of wit.A ravine of abstruse emotions and a revelry of elysian serenity...it in essence is sphinx-like,a gallimaufry of sublime sentiments and sylvan thoughts.At times its too sinewy to allow blues more than a sojourn(i.e it seems to)but introspecting deep one gets to explore the mawkish aspect of it..lying latent.

Neither facile nor stolid,this aesthetic diadem of one's persona is the perfect alcove to moot....an aegis against the mundane miasma and the matrix of innovation...apogee of the maverick in it.Its an embodiment of temerity..bonafide..sui generis....the ultimate unassailable asset that life could ever gift.... in this memorable odyssey.