Subtle Seven...

No promises to be broken

No desires to fulfill
Neither do I expect You
To be with me in moments
Euphoric or still.....

That you are a part of me
My yesterday n my tomorrow
Is what I know
But all that I would always celebrate is You
Understanding me more n more.....

The best thing that has ever happened or could ever have been a part of this beautiful life of mine is definitely "you" and for all the times when u ask me if i loved you.....

Its always "I DO"

Class Apart...

I am befuddled at times when I get to cognize people getting intimidated by whom they term “class apart” but in this fussy itinerary of life where mediocrity rules and uniqueness lies latent, does this “class apart” genre genuinely deserves the attention it gets. I beg to differ.

Every other day I get to listen about some admirable facet in some estimable persona …ruling the minds of the plebian. The fetters of generalization aren’t yet arcane that we shall begin succumbing to another of the social maladies. Don’t get me wrong. I am not against admiring anybody but I definitely am not in for idolizing a mortal .There are a myriad factors deciding the success index of an individual and one can never classify the capabilities and potential without placing them on a common platform. Being an attaboy or an attagirl isn’t easy…I agree but don’t u think there’s definitely radical about every person and if one realizes this potency, it paves the way to the apogee.

There’s a fine line of demarcation between admiration n apotheosis. One admires when he/she finds the other prodigious and is eager to carve a niche for his own…to get identified. It’s when you try to delve deep into your self and discover that “extraordinariness”…that passion to excel and succeed and be a winner driving your admirers crazy…be a genesis to your class of progeny. But when you exalt it vindicates failure…surrender…an ignominy to your singularity. There’s nothing as perfect as perfect. When you are human…when you are a part of the taxon “class apart”…wherein lays the necessity to search divinity or relegate?

Each one of us has the fire in him/her to be admired but none to be idolized lest you have come across a sycophant or an adolescent.

Femininity's Essence...

Sometimes she finds it difficult to breathe her entire life and sometimes she feels she lived it all in those few seconds….. And those few moments.

It’s in her felicitous face and cherubic innocence…..when she means the entire world for the two most selfless people on this earth…..a genesis to the beauties of life. A progeny to the expectations n aspirations of many…..to realize dreams which her mother wanted to…..n to make her father proud with her accomplishments. Everything that she does speaks the way she has been brought up…..the values she has imbibed…..the principles she has been taught n the culture she belongs to…..You find your daughter in her.

It’s when she is in the laps of the soul who envies her for the attention she gets…..caresses her n begins getting concerned in her puerility…..when she still is being considered that naughty little kid she had been all along. She lets all secrets out to her…..ties that sacred thread of love on his hands…..is a part of all those spicy nothings n piquant thefts…..in all those altercations…..pillow fights…..dining talks…..in all those hugs n in all those words which take her to realize the heights of life.....You find your sibling in her.

It’s when she doesn’t miss a class even when the mercury is soaring high…..writing notes….learning by rote…..completing assignments…..n in listening to all those words of wisdom. Her success n her achievements bring admiration n recognition…..her talent…..her sincerity…..the devotion n her verity speak volumes of the tenets of erudition she is crowned with…..You find your student in her.

It’s when she confides in you…..understands you…..lends her shoulder for your tired soul to lean on in times of happiness n sorrows n even in times in between. In your need…..solace…..exalt…..loneliness…..the one individual whom u can always look up to with no expectations to meet…..with no promises to break…..with no errs to fall apart…..no pretensions…..no hypocrisy…..no pride…..no prejudice…..far from the egos…..away from apprehensions n fears…..standing loft with the best moments lived…..no strings attached…..You find your friend in her.

It’s when she rediscovers herself and the passion in her…..an ignited mind which fights for the love she craves for…..knowing him more n more. Every time her eyes met his, an unknown emotion of blush creeps in breaking the camouflage which even her mother failed to do in all these years. The crimson in her betrays her fortitude…..her ego…..her will and she surrenders herself totally. Her fantasies turn into fanciful realities and seraphic pulchritude. She understands…..cares…..adds meaning to one’s life and falls in for the best emotion as ever…..You discover your love in her.

It’s when you find yourself in her…..realize that she is the one….when her smile dawns the day bright for you n when she indeed understands you. You discover happiness in her patience…..her concern…..her possessiveness…..acceptance…..and coy NO’s. She proves to be an elixir for your tiredness…..a balm for your stresses…..a question to your felicity…..an answer to your passions…..and a prop in your silence. She shares it all….loves you heart n soul. You just can’t imagine a life without her…..so void…..so dull…..embrace a dependency that you take pride in…..n enamors you for the person you are. She makes you feel complete.....You find your soul mate…..your wife in her.

It’s when she gives you birth…..nurtures you…..n you are a part of her. You find her in your footprints…..alphabets…..hymns…..didactics…..tenets….values n dictions….refinement…..personality n in anything n everything that u find a definition to. She is with you in ur maladies….ur errs….ignominies….ur failure n in ur success….ur ideals n she literally breathes in you. Her tirades teach you the direction you got to sail through…..her tears held u back…..her words fondle you n gives you the best of life. You find your mother in her.

It’s not where her odyssey ends…..rather the beginning to cognize the essence in her femininity more n more…..

Guitar moods.....

A walk on a moonlit night with the waves gently kissing the sands…
A candle lit dinner in a glass penthouse…
A long drive among the woods an autumn evening…
A waltz in the rain…


Speaking love softly in the stillness of the night…
Surreptitious glances…
Evening charms…melting moments…
And in all those careless whispers…



A ride when the whole world sleeps…
Feelings…expressions…passions…
Long odysseys…
And in sweet nothings…

In compliments…subtle coyness…n in holding hands…
In nearness…in faraway ness…
In all those waits…and reveries…
In Bated breaths…unspoken words…n in your trusted promises…


You sing to me the rhythm of love…..

Impressions anonymous...

A figment of imagination it seems now but in reality knowing this soul has been one of the loveliest chapters of my life. Every individual that we come across in our life’s odyssey is a stranger at the first instance but only when certain unknown yet familiar chord strikes do we embark upon a relationship- sometimes it has a name and sometimes it doesn’t but the essence lies in the beauteous way that we lived it.


This is dedicated to one of those momentous trysts I would always love to remember.

I was going through one of the darkest phases of my life-dreams shattered and aspirations buried both professionally n personally. It was then when I seeked Orkut for refuge coz human souls were the last persons one would love to face at such times of crisis…they somehow manage to strip off the hypo critic self deep within (- so glamorously smiling even when a thousand waves are breaking at the shores of their heart) and make reality ubiquitous.Orkut seemed to be a welcome change. Friends…acquaintances…communities…fans…testimonials…blogs…and last but not the least were the unknown realm of strangers whom I never wanted to befriend with!!!


But this time it was different…I never knew why or may be I never wanted to know!!!


The tryst had its roots from his name…his identity didn’t matter but that we had a common friend did. Somehow we managed to complete those 3 F’S-first rules of formality in friendship in our rudimentary mails. I still dint have any inkling dat this bond which had begun so casually would bring that person so close to me later on. I always did and still do acknowledge my inclination towards this friendship for his impeccable English. Though I don’t know about his parlance for the same coz we hardly ever spoke other than our mother tongue but his mails were definitely pieces of fine literature to me. I always held English as my passion and he had the flair. Mails n occasional chats…that were how it had its genesis.

Within a few days of two strangers changing over to friends(world’s most cherished kinship) I could sense I had come in touch with one of the most sensible souls I ever came across…mind blowing sense of hypocrisy he had… yet the dint in him to understand human emotions most beautifully amazed me. He was known for being a genius in academics…a computer geek…a student of one of the most elite institutes…blah blah blah… but to me all of this meant nothing. For me he was always a prankster…a friend who always had his ears for my incessant chatter n my uncanny thoughts…a decoder…a radical thinker n a soul who virtually breathed novels…

I could share nething under the sun with him…happiness dint ask for provocation but woes did. And I was sure the next moment I lived was sanguine. The renaissance had begun to show its colour in me…I was coming out of my cocoon of idiosyncrasies n moments that once seemed to torture their presence in my heart had begun weaning. I had started living in the present. But to those people who felt that he dint have his share of story...I must say you are mistaken. He too was a human n most importantly a man. Love was one emotion which every individual experienced n trust me his love was… n still is… so stark n so bonafide that I admired him for the same. I believed love to be a confession n he believed it was true friendship (just like the leading pairs of the magical trio) but both of us agreed its reciprocation was immaterial. Apart from these emotional facets we had our own share of asking each other treats…teasing…crushes...novels…and all those sweet nothings that two friends shared….I was oblivious of the fact that we had become good friends…real good friends…all dis while.

The first time we talked…I was nervous (I still wonder for that was blue moon for an extrovert like me) but as I got to know his voice… he sounded to me no less than any commerce graduate cycling on the college streets…insouciant…nonchalant…ever ready to cone treats for reasons funny n weird…a great sense of humour spiced with flippancy n topped with revelling chivalry but deep down his heart …a friend for a life time. But the most fascinating episode of this lovely tryst was that he had no idea of how I looked like n I couldn’t recognize him in any snap apart from the one his orkut profile sported. It was extraneous coz our friendship was based on trust even though we were miles apart…based on faith rather than freak outs…n it was beautiful…unadulterated. We knew each other well n understood our friendship’s nitty gritty.

To err is human…I always believed but I dint know I would jeopardize our friendship in failing to demarcate between fine emotions.Incitations were encouraging earlier …but this time it posed against my principles…still I gave in for the sake of our friendship but perhaps there was where I erred. Our friendship started tottering just like the castle of dreams built in open air…n I was a part of the reason behind this. Days passed by but dis time not at a fleeting pace coz they were days of agony. Just like any ordinary person under extraordinary pressure would behave…I tried to mend old ties…finally we met and I acted appalling obtuse…things dint better intrinsically for me neither was there any kind of compulsion to but we had made up our minds to start our friendship afresh…n that was better …much better for both of us…And finally on the eve of new year impressions of this tryst had a different savor…and I had started realizing and repenting for my folly that caused it all…it again dint count coz I believed we were friends again…and I was feeling choked to share my happiness that had started crowning me…all those reasons for which once I sought this tryst a recourse had started giving way to sunny mornings…I was reciprocated with a confession I always died for n this time I wanted to share this with him…someone whom I held one of my best friends…but destiny and may be life had a different flavour for it…and in a span of seventeen days of our friendship breathing brisk …events turned it topsy turvy…

Certain things in life seem so involuntary that you curse yourself if you cant help it fight against your ego…misunderstandings n breach of trust are a few of them. Even if you try to…you just can’t let it go. Even the kindest of souls will seek exception from this coz when heart gets hurt…it finds no solace however justified it may be. The only healer is time but your ego has taken you far ahead of those times when you could turn round …forget bitter times and shake hands. It’s not possible to look beyond. The person you severe your ties with may not be the sole person responsible but ego lets u go blind and its just not human to forgive…it takes to be divine.(I still remember the concept of the galaxy but trust me its difficult to implement practically…I accept I have my own ego n m human…).At times I repent…try to mull over where things went wrong…I find reasons…enough space to go back but when I think of the lovely times our beautiful friendship experienced…m held back…I don’t want to regress…

… Coz I believe “the best” is a one time impression.


I never thought the tryst to end this way…from unknown voices to known souls... submerged and dead under the mires of time but those anonymous feelings I realized later were impressions of fine friendship…”the best” ones…as ever…

Summer strings...

Spending holidays in a metro!!! Well eyeing the Utopian spirits that I dream of n the scorching heat…its sheer masochism…an anathema I would say. For me hill stations were…are... and will always be the perfect progenitors of serenity and tranquility…

A bunch of seraphic orchids…An incredible vista…

I am not one of those itinerant individuals who fail to draw the fine line of demarcation between obstreperous celebrations and crepuscular moments .I always longed to be a coeval of Wordsworth …letting my imagination fly high amidst the odoriferous woods of the autumn verisimilar to those English country sides - a reparation of the impuissant nature today and far away from the sophisticated troglodytes…promiscuous nights…ego centric hearts…fussy itineraries and lucubrate air. Scurrilous remarks and ribaldry seem so consanguineous nowadays-ingredients of a perfect jetsam and living are tangential…we basically survive. Metros-the supposititious tech parks and hubs of learning and opportunities have mechanized life but when one tries to measure the iota of content that individuals have in these bullish cities…its exceptionable .I know not why m delving deep into such contentious issues or if m I excoriating metros but my idea of stark holidaying would always be the country sides …

…I call them motes of heaven.

Frozen emotions...

Desires win over dreams when I come to think

Of voicing my thoughts
Waking up to a new dawn
A feeling of all those firsts, and
The sense of getting things done.

An identity isn’t just what I seek
Knowing my brethren too seems bleak
Sufferings for crime unknown
O mother…I could be your daughter…your son.

Still wondering the hue my life would have taken
Facing a world new…having moments unforgotten
I crave not for the soul who laid my grave here…but
For the sentience of your love…your motherhood even out here.

careless whisper...

For all those moments

of my cryptic silence...

frustration...

n a sense of indifference...

my breathlessness...

eccentricity...

anger...my unendurable moodiness

unreasonable solitude...

storming passions...tenacious foible

n the pegasus in me ....

BREWED wid

that caressing smile of yours...

a shoulder which I could always lean on...

an unassailable patience....

the care..the concern I craved for....

for that subtle presence...

and moments which I will cherish forever....

For being wat u were n what u are...for making me feel so elysian....

n for understanding me more n more n more.....

and today before u ask me...lemme tell u..

our friendship means to me one of the best assets I could ever wish or dream for ...

and acknowledge it isnt just friendship but a little bit more....

uncanny psyche...

Its orphic to delve deep into one's nous.Remarkably protean,one simply marvels at the pulchritude with which it portrays the quintessence of wit.A ravine of abstruse emotions and a revelry of elysian serenity...it in essence is sphinx-like,a gallimaufry of sublime sentiments and sylvan thoughts.At times its too sinewy to allow blues more than a sojourn(i.e it seems to)but introspecting deep one gets to explore the mawkish aspect of it..lying latent.

Neither facile nor stolid,this aesthetic diadem of one's persona is the perfect alcove to moot....an aegis against the mundane miasma and the matrix of innovation...apogee of the maverick in it.Its an embodiment of temerity..bonafide..sui generis....the ultimate unassailable asset that life could ever gift.... in this memorable odyssey.

one love...

Steering life gets harder amidst crusades of emotions but when it comes to the strongest feeling as ever...surrender's no ignominy and thoughts are rendered pristine.The drive's involuntary.Love's a farrago of myriad feelings like...admiration...exasperation...respect...possession...passion...felicity...grief...reminiscences n above all an understanding.Its in essence an austere verity...unison of minds n concoction of hearts.

Its weird to find people cogitating over such an ubiquitous reality and strange's heart when such wandering souls fail to empathize at such cross roads of their life.

For all those hardnosed psyches cornered between beleiving and accepting love....Shakespeare voices the most subtle way:

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved. "

Does this suffice for an honest confession ?

Melting Moments...

An evening in CCD isnt bad for all those souls having treasured moments over a cup of coffee brewed with an appealing soft music.May sound weird for the introvert in me who dares think beyond the realm of possibilities....but my idea of bliss amidst such a melange of emotions would be......spending some time for myself diving into self introspections.

It may seem nugatory for all those busy individuals who believe in surviving rather than living but CCD isnt just the hub for all those gals n guys advocating "partying" or "freakouts" or for those soulmates having cherished memories....but for also those rookies in life understanding it better.Its one of those berths where people around you are too occupied to meddle in your thoughts.. as they term it "minding their own business" which augments imagination growing wild at times and accepting realities pacifying the storm within.

Its enigmatic but I do find silence amidst such melodious cacophony....having some of the beautiful figments of imagination..weaving dreams wild eyed.....purple ruminations....blues uncalled for....and more crucially KNOWING MYSELF.

For mortals who have reasons n who havent either to have such melting moments .....just remember "anything can happen over a cup of coffee" .

Rhythm Divine...

Its recondite penning down emotions n expressions but certain chords rise from being just strings to euphonius ruminations...

This is dedicated to all those individuals who havent just moulded or made a difference in my thinking...but also brought in me a stunning renaissance.

RENDITIONS OF A HEART


"Papa kehte hain"...................................Rising sun in d horizon.

"Tujhse naaraz nahin zindagi"..............Scintilatting rays of the night's marvel.

"Phoolon ka taron ka"............................The root of success branching motivation.

"Aaj humne dil ka har"...........................A step ahead exploring challenging heights.

"Hum rahein yaa na rahein kal"........... No strings attached.

"Yaaron"...................................................Rainbow in d Infinite.

"Zara Zara"............................................. Figment of a beautiful imagination

M.A.T.R.I.X # 6

Here I take a hiatus and come up with something thats sanguine and lively...and quite unlike me....jeopardising my mellifluos acknowledgements to the P.E.N.T.A.C.L.E plumage ;)


N.B: All characters in this story are fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.


THE PATH OF NEO

CAST OVERVIEW:

Neo Sophy
Trinity Ency
Morpheus Simp
Tank Gen
Oracle Seren
Apoc Be
Agent Smith Sa

GENRE: fictional sci-fi
LANGUAGE: English
RUNTIME:10 mins

The voyage begins...

An instant coded message from a remote host(Apoc) pops up in Neo's Gtalk.Trojan virus interrupts before any other nexus was possible with the source code...ActiveX and Boot virus creeps into MATRIX # 6....CRASH!!!!!

A software personnel by profession....with cryptology as passion...Neo finds herself disturbed contemplating about the cryptic code...trying to decode but in vain..."THE MATRIX LEADS YOU" and "*%^&*($#@" comes d sms....Apoc reconnects.This leads Neo to MATRIX#T where she meets Trinity....who is well aware of all the intriguing questions boggling Neo at present.Back to d realm...Gtalk signed in...

* * * * * * * * * * *

anBm.serv.exe files corrupt
APPLICATION ERROR

At Deathvalley the nextday,Neo receives a call from Morpheus to join her at a rendezvous in Linux kernel....n on her way back she is accosted by Agent Brown and is forced to go against Morpheus...on refusing this...a robotic virus is programmed in her brain...supposed to behave the anti MATRIX# 6 way.....

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Missed call from Morpheus........SHIT!!!!

Neo wakes up...is accompanied by Trinity to d shell...having d virus removed.Morpheus explains Neo her reason for being in d MATRIX...asks her to choose between ESC and ENTER....

E N T E R

Neo wakes up to find herself equipped with all d codes for all kinds of interfaces n environments....programs uploaded....equipped to face insinuations widout emotions...

CODE DECODED

Oracle is contacted....Neo,Trinity and Morpheus meet her in her apartment...code crosschecked....Neo seeks oracle's suggestions in revealation of the truth...only to be prognosticated that the "future is transparent n She's the ONE".....

The group enters MATRIX #6 ....Tank consulted....program coded...virus embedded...that which can corrupt files of any type and system accessed frm anywhere n everywhere........Tank executes it......n then the attachment sent.....firewalls turned off....virus infringement....

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

BUZZ!!!Program successfull..Neo wakes up to find her monitor flickering.....lines of streaming green code............."Is She the ONE?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Shut down the monitor yaar....kal raat se switched on hai"

it matters...

Sounding flippant and being hypocritic comes easy…the beguiling conceited self rules the attitude that one flaunts today…smiling…its no Herculean task keeping one’s lachrymose ,mawkish self in ambush with cheerfulness dictating the seemingly serene countenance…replacing the placid and poignant emotion within with a graceful phlegmatism…so deeply admired…simply because one doesn’t have to pay a price for dat...

Its perturbing when loneliness hurts…anger frustrates…CGPA mocks…dreams smirk…with expectations counting…aspirations striving...love blues...family woes…and unreasonable silence…success in abyss…obscure luck…insatiable desires…passions in a vortex…questioning erudition…pharaisical pragmatism…freakish idealism…confession’s rigmarole….the very soul’s innate drive…but still we find everyone prevaricating…"its cool".

Contemplating deep one realizes the snafu he is in…its too esoteric differentiating aims n accomplishments…too difficult understanding ourselves…what matters n what doesn’t...but the reality is...IT DOES…and dats d greatest veracity…

love actually...

It isnt just being with him.....walking towards the beauty of the evanescent rays of the sunset.....breathing the air redolent of autumn.....dreaming in the scintillating glint of the darkness.....feeling the zephyr caressing wanton thoughts.....or the quest to reach the impossible....marking the end of an eon's wait.....an epitaph epitomising moments beatific....

Its listening to his silence.....knowing his camouflaged self.....understanding the candour string rhyming in one's mind.....reading the calligraphic script of the heart......being lily to the sheen doyenne......prognosticating the precarious future in exuberance.....rising above the fetters of possession.....soaring freely in the welkin like a dove.....loving him As Ever.....

Its infact the renaissance of an insinuation to a beautiful reality....the corridor to thoughts austere and independent.....ruminations of the dulcet rhythm in one's life......

Love Actually....is a Stunning Serendipity.....a Confession to thyself.....

conflict submerged...

Life's an enigmatic odyssey....replete with a potpourri of emotions esoteric....a graffiti of pied sentiments.....sometimes the preamble to an admiration for the plenitude of happiness and victory....and sometimes a portent of the dark clouds camouflaging the sheen of the night queen...
















At many such destinations of my penegrination I find situations polemic....dont have the pluck to act dauntless....the placid poignancy in me striving for a harbor....a clash of the titans....mind or the heart....

A poseur or a freethinker.....prevaricate for a good cause or stand firm with d truth....a heretic or a plebian....live life on my own terms or get ruled with the expectations of loved ones.....for the soulmate in my friend or d friend in my love.....diplomacy or brazen audaciousness....pride or the prejudice....science or literature....Cordelia or Miranda....career or.....et al

Mind's pragmatic....Heart's beautiful....One teaches to comprehend the world and another comprehends me....mind dives deep discovering harsh realities....heart discovers the happiness,wanes blues...heart's the disciple to the preacher in my mind but dreams are no slave to realities.....mind prognosticates.....acts....heart prays n waits.....mind's the prefatory octet to a decision and heart the embodiment of my idiosyncrasy I value the most......

Life's a travesty when I find this tycoon turning frantic.....annihilation ubiquitous in my soul......seeking d truce.....my solitude turns my best friend....contemplating "read my mind or listen to my heart".......U have an answer for this?

with love...

The silence of the dark night sings to me the most melodious rhythm.....and my solitude offers a solace so elysian.Purple has begun to dictate my blues ...with this heart of mine seeking refuge in his beautiful mind...

Its no childhood fantasy...nor the usual reverie am speaking of today.For the convivial girl in me...it always seemed abstract and my idiosyncrasies never just let my heart get ruled.Many friendships lived....none I met ignited in me a passion so seraphic.Feelings i jeered at terming them quixotic had begun to speak.The inteligence i craved for....the assertiveness i pined for....the indomitable confidence he postured....and above all an understanding so strikingly terrific bridging all gaps seemed to juxtapose perfectly with d schmaltzy innocence in me.

I had woken up to a new dawn.....embracing an emotion as fresh as the morning dew...his presence filling all voids....a prelude to a thinking so ''different'' in me....all woes deafened......desires rendered divine....

No promises to be kept.....no vows of fidelity to b shared......neither any lonely moment to cherish...... nor any fetters of commitment left unbroken...

This laconic hypocrite in me acquisces the untrodden path to b taken with d most beautiful emotion......love.... in her heart forever......