Saturday, November 07, 2015

Recesses of the Mind

A pain so deep you know not how to let go of it
Strengths turning to weaknesses you never thought of
Memories so strong that its hard to rub off
No one to open up to or share your inner conflicts with

Fear of being misunderstood, immature and probably selfish.
Cornered for being partial and loving conditional.
For being a person who has changed with time.
And for being perceived as the one who has it all.

Look beyond the deep eyes and the tired soul
Not the smile I flaunt
Dig for the thousand sorrows I hide
Stab me not with your love's brunt.

A bit of love, a bit of compassion
Add to it a pinch of understanding
Don't judge me for who I am not
Accept me with a sense of belonging

If you can't offer me this
I am hungry for nothing more
Leave me to my world of black and white
Don't make my heart go further sore.

I held your hand then and his now
Tomorrow I may walk lone and low
If you didn't understand me today
I don't expect you to understand me tomorrow

I will still be behind you
My care, my love or my feelings
Is here to stay
But as of now,
Lets stay away, lets stay happy.

Saturday, August 08, 2015

Thoughts of the Past - XIV

The next morning, Kartik went to the same place. But this time he went alone. After yesterday's warning to Kavya by her mother, it was not possible for her to accompany him. He loved the place. There was something around it which beckoned him in an eerie way. The best part of the place was the river flowing nearby. He went and sat on its banks and tried thinking of what had happened last night. It seemed peculiar.He had never seen his mother this way.

*********************************************************************************
"Mom...the place is so beautiful!!I want to take you there tomorrow."

"Which place? And whose idea was it?? Your aunt had gone crazy when she got to know Kavya was outside. In India, these kind of things are still not acceptable, you know. " - said Rya and smiled.

She was folding the clothes when Kartik came from behind and hugged her.

"And do you think the same too?" - asked Kartik.

Rya turned around and said "No. But simultaneously, I don't want any unnecessary trouble sweetheart. Kavya is a sweet girl. She deserves a happy and nuisance free marriage."

Rya went near the cupboard to keep the pile of clothes.

"Do you know Ryan Mehra Mom? He studied with you and Kavya's parents in the same college right?"

For a moment, Rya felt as if time had stopped. She didn't know what to say. She looked back at Kartik.

"How do you know him?" - asked Rya.

"Mom!! Does it really matter? Did you ever interact with him? Are you still in touch with him or do you know anybody who can help me get in touch with him? I have been thinking..."

"Actually I should ask Aditi Auntie about him. He was her friend. She might be knowing...but had she known, Kavya could have contacted him...I just don't know..." - continued Kartik. He seemed to be really perplexed about finding Ryan and was trying to find out links to reach out to him.

"How do you know him Kartik???? " - shouted Rya.

"Cool down Mom. Why are you so angry? Kavya mentioned him. She seems to be pretty close to him. She shared a significant part of her childhood with him. But now she is unable to find him. If I could help her find him, she would have her best wedding gift, you see "- said Kartik and smiled.

"But why did you get so angry? What's the matter Mom..."

"Nothing. Nothing Kartik" - said Rya and went back to the pile of clothes.

"There is something Mom!! I have never seen you this angry. Do you know him?..."

"Whats happening between mother and son?? "- said Aditi and entered into the room. She put a big yellow sweet into Kartik's mouth and said "You won't get this there. Just eat and relish" and smiled.

"Rya. I need you downstairs. We have a ritual in which we need married women. Come downstairs in next 10 minutes." - said Aditi and turned back to leave.

"Auntie. I want to talk to you for a couple of minutes. Can I come with you?" - asked Kartik.

"I am going downstairs. You can talk to Aditi here." - said Rya and left abruptly.

Aditi could not understand what was happening around. She looked at Rya and knew something had affected her deep.

When Kartik asked her of Ryan, she understood everything. She denied knowing anything about Ryan and suggested Kartik to stop bothering about finding him and rather enjoying the marriage. But she knew she had to speak to Rya.

*********************************************************************************

Kartik wasn't a kid anymore. He knew there was something about this guy. He had to find him. But "how" was the question. There was nobody to help him out. As he sat near the banks, he saw somebody sitting on the other side of the river. She was a lady, the age of his mother probably. She seemed to be in deep thoughts. Kartik felt an urge to speak to her. He didn't know why though. He had to cross the river. He tried searching for a bridge. There was none in sight. He kept walking for quite some distance until he found one. He crossed over and found that this part of the place was more beautiful than the one where he sat. There was a small cottage nearby too.

"She must be staying here." - thought Kartik.

It was a beautiful cottage. There was a small patio in front of the house too. Small flower plants added to the beauty of it. The house had a nameplate infront of it - "Aranya".

Kartik walked past it and stopped on reaching where the lady was sitting. His presence was comfortably ignored by her. She sat quietly. She had tears in her eyes. She was in deep pain.

Kartik sat next to her. He tried to make a nervous attempt of conversing with her.

"This place is so beautiful!! Even the cottage! Do you stay there?" - asked Kartik.

The lady got startled. Probably she wasn't used to this encroachment in quite some time.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" - she asked.

"My name is Kartik. I stay in US. I have come to India for my friend's wedding. She showed me around this place yesterday. I liked it so much that I came back here today and I found you sitting here. Thought of ...talking to you..."

The lady got up and started walking away from Kartik, towards her cottage.

"Whats your name?" - asked Kartik from behind.

She didn't reply.

"Can we talk?..." - continued Kartik.

Still no reply.

"I am here to find a person. He used to come here often..."

She continued walking away from him.

"Ryan. Ryan Mehra. By any chance do you know him?...".

She stopped. 

Turning behind, she asked Kartik "Who are you?"

****************************************************************************************

After hearing everything from Kartik, Meeta (the lady) heaved a long sigh. She looked down and smiled to herself.

" Kartik, can you do me a favour?"

"Yeah. Sure." - replied Kartik.

"Meet me tomorrow at this address and get your mother with you."

She scribbled the address on a piece of paper and handed it over to him.

"Can we meet Mr. Mehra tomorrow" - asked Kartik, being hopeful.

Meeta had given him the hope that she knew Ryan.

"Kartik. Lets meet tomorrow first." - said Meeta and got up to leave.

"But you didn't tell me who are you and how do you know him? " - asked Kartik.

Meeta paused for a second and finally said "I am his wife."

(To be continued...)

Thursday, July 02, 2015

In response to Leibster Award

Thank you Salvwi for honouring me with the recognition! I am humbled. Even though I write to satiate myself and my thoughts, it feels good to be appreciated.

As per the rules of the award, I lay down 11 facts about myself as below:

1. I am spiritual.
2. I have strong will power.
3. I am short tempered.
4. I love philosophy, literature and business.
5. I am passionate about writing, dancing and travelling.
6. My favourite sitcom is FRIENDS.
7. I have a huge crush on Hrithik Roshan, still.
8. I am a cheerful person.
9. I am a J type personality (Refer MBI Test)
10. I love my family and friends.
11. I aspire to be an entrepreneur someday.

Answering Salvwi's questions:

1. Do you like digital or hardcopy novels? - Hardcopy.
2. Which quality defines you? - Optimism
3. If you were a colour, which one you would choose to be and why? - Blue. It pacifies everything around.
4. List three things without which you don't leave your house ever? - House Keys, Mobile and Wallet
5. How important is your blog for you? - As important as the right brain is for the body.
6. Can writing be an acquired talent? - Yes. It can be. Eg - Content Writing.
7. How did you pamper yourself today? - By having home made virgin mojito for the first time.
8. Did you meet an old friend recently? - Yes. I met my friend from graduation and it felt good.
9. What would you like to change in yourself, if at all? - A bit less of temper.
10. What is your greatest accomplishment in life? - Marrying the guy I love.
11. How happy are you today? - As happy as the drops of rain falling from the sky.

Bloggers who left their impact on me:

3. Soumya

Questions for my nominees:

1. What makes you happy?
2. Your greatest regret in life.
3. Do you believe in spirituality? Reason.
4. Apart from your partner, who are you most close to in your life?
5. According to you, what is so weird about you?
6. Favourite word.
7. What according to you is a myth?
8. Your role model
9. Alternate career you aspire for.
10. The animal you most resemble to.
11. Your Dream Travel Destination.

When a blogger accepts the award, the blogger has to:

1. Write 11 facts about his/her self
2. Answer 11 questions from your nominator
3. Nominate 11 blogs with under 200 followers
4. Leave 11 questions for the nominees to answer

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Quote Challenge - Day 3



Continuing with the challenge on Day 3, I would like to mention the above quote, in which I truly madly and deeply believe in. I  don't know its origin but this is probably the purest form of truth I have ever heard or read. No matter what happens, life goes on. It doesn't wait. And you got to walk with it. Even if you want, you cannot stop it from its due course of time and when the time comes, even then you cannot change its will. Life is free and it doesn't get affected by the mundane.

There have been times when I have asked life to stop, for all the mean things I was being afflicted with. I had lost hope. I had lost the zeal to live.I felt nothing could ever become worse than this and I could never go back to normal. But my life didn't pay heed to me. It went on. It went on to make me believe that I was wrong. I became better and mature with all the meanness of life. I went ahead in life. I could see the morning after the night. I am still not sure if whatever happened was for the best or worst but I didn't have a choice. I had to accept it. But my acceptance didn't lead me to the dark. It went on to give me opportunities to better my life and I did.

The best part of life is the surprises it throws at you. The best is not to get baffled but accept the challenge and go on to find what's in store for you. As long as you can dream, you can live and try to live that dream.  We can love our lives, hate it too but just can't ignore it and that's what they mean when they say LIFE GOES ON.

Thank you Salvwi for nominating me for this.

Since I do not know a lot of bloggers, I nominate anybody and everybody from the blogger world to take up this challenge and write about their favourite quotes.

The 3 day Quote Challenge is all about:
  1. Post one of your favourite quotes (different quote on each day) on three consecutive days. The quote can be from your favourite book, author or your own.
  2. Nominate 3 bloggers with each post to challenge them.
  3. Thank the blogger, who nominated you.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Thoughts of the Past - XIII

31 years later

"Don't panic Aditi. Everything will be done. We still have a week left."

"Anand!!! There is so much left to do and you are not worried!! Its not a house party!!!" - cried Aditi.

"I know sweetheart!" - smiled Anand and hugged Aditi.

He continued- " It will just be the way you have dreamt of. I assure you. Now go and spend some time with her. She has been complaining of you not giving her time since the last 3 weeks."

Aditi looked up at Anand. She had tears in her eyes.

"Is she actually going to leave us? I can't believe she is getting married. Our little daughter..."

"Aditiii....Technically she left us much earlier when she went for her graduation. And all of us have been brought up this way. So stop being melodramatic now! You should be happy we are going to have an addition in the family". - said Anand and smiled.

"Hmmm. I just want Kavya to be happy and I hope Kabeer is the right guy for her."

"Aditi. We should have faith in our children's choices. Just the way we had in ours. "

*********************************************************************************

"Mom. It's too hot. Can we please get back inside the car?"

Rya took one more sip from her cup and looked smilingly at her son, who was bothered by the Indian Sun due to her insistence on having tea at a local betel shop. She always loved the tea from the stalls instead of the cafes. They seemed to have the perfect taste.

"Dad. Say something to Mom!!! I am sweating all over. Why can't we have it inside the car? I just don't get it." - cried Kartik.

Rishabh pat Kartik on his back and said "Your Mom loves India and the flavours it has. She got you here for the same reason. Try to experience India, as it is and you might fall in love with it just the way I fell in love with your Mom". He smiled and looked at Rya. She had already deep dived into her thoughts.

"I still don't get it. I am getting inside. Come soon." - said Kartik and ran towards the car.

"What happened Rya? Are you OK?" - asked Rishabh.

"Yeah. Yeah. I am fine. I just got lost. Stupid old memories, you know"- shrugged Rya.

"Where is Kartik? Lets go. Aditi must be waiting" - continued Rya and got up and walked towards the car. She didn't even look back.

Rishabh looked at her and knew it was HIS thoughts which had got Rya once again. He knew there was something Rya never shared with him. Even after this long! He had no complaints against her. She had never given him an opportunity to blame her for anything. She had given her best to the home, the family, to Karthik and to the marriage but not to Rishabh. After that trip back from India, Rya had changed completely. Even though he wanted her to reconsider the marriage, she was vehement on marrying him. Rishabh didn't understand her. He knew he had a happy family and a happy life but he also knew a part of Rya was never happy in it.

*********************************************************************************
"Rya!!!!!" - cried Aditi on opening the door and hugged her friend tightly.

There was happiness all around. Even though everyone knew each other, it was a different feeling to have met after a gap of 9 years. And for Kartik, he was meeting Aditi, Anand and Kavya for the first time. He had heard a lot about them though. Rya wanted Kartik to marry an Indian girl and so she insisted on Kartik attending the wedding, with the hope that Kartik would love the Indian culture. However, Kartik was least interested in the whole affair and he was counting his days to return back to home.

"Good morning Kartik!!" - greeted Kavya as she entered into Kartik's room next day morning.. Everyone else being busy with either the preparations or meeting after so long, Kavya found Kartik to be the only other person who was getting bored in this entire farce.

"Goood Morning Kavya! What are you doing here? Aren't you the bride?" - said Kartik.

"Aaah yeah...I am...but the wedding is after 6 days. I am getting bored. I am the special person but everyone here doesn't have time for me. Most importantly, my parents!!!" - said Kavya with a sigh.

"I thought I could spend some time with you. I am sure you are getting bored too." - added Kavya.

"Well its your wedding and I am taught not to be impolite. But yeah I am getting bored!! Big time!! I don't know people here and the heat along with the crowd. Its maddening." - said Kartik with a smile.

Kavya smiled. She was impressed with Kartik's candid nature.

"Hmm. Get ready! I will try to make your  India visit worthwhile. I will show you around." - said Kavya.

"Cool. Ummm...Kavya we are going in a AC car, right?" - asked Kartik.

"Nopes. We will get caught. I am not allowed to go outside. But I have something better than the car.Meet me near the rear gate."

*********************************************************************************
"Wow!This place is beautiful! Do you come here often?"- asked Kartik.

"Not now. But when I was small, I used to come here often. One of my uncles used to get me here. I loved those escapades. I had a lot of fun. We cycled, trekked and did crazy things.  My parents used to accompany me too. But as and when I grew up, I didn't find much time to come here." - said Kavya.

"Hmm. But this isn't very far from your place. How come its not so crowded?"

" People nowadays don't have much time for nature. Strange it is, but we always chase the mundane things of life, leaving behind the true beauties." - said Kavya with a hint of nostalgia.

"Thoughtful!! So tell me about Kabeer. How did you guys meet and all...."

Kavya and Kartik spent the whole day there, talking about their lives. The friendship their mothers shared had somehow trickled down the next generation as well. They wondered how well they got along and in such a short time. Around noon, Kavya got a call from Aditi but she was too smart to trick her mother to believe she was just around the corner and added that Kartik was with him too.

As they got up to leave, Kartik asked "K, where is that Uncle you used to come here with?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since I left home for studies. I asked Mom too. But she hasn't heard from him either. I miss him. Back then, I didn't value his time, his care and his love. Today when I want him to be a part of the biggest day of my life, I am unable to find him. I truly wish if he could come back."

"Hmm. No phone number, email id of his?" - asked Kartik.

"Yeah. I have his email id. I mailed him quite many times. But he never replied. I wonder if he ever read any of those. I wonder if he is.."

"What's his name?" - interrupted Kartik.

"Ryan. Ryan Mehra."

Quote Challenge - Day 2



Continuing with the quote challenge; on Day 2, I would like to mention the above quote from George Orwell's famous novel 1984. I love this quote because despite being so simple, it conveys one of the most powerful messages for mankind.

How many times has an individual, who claims to be free, actually feels free to express his/her beliefs or opinion without feeling scared of the consequences? We are free as long as we can boldly speak of our beliefs. What we believe is what we conceive the truth to be. There has to be absolute freedom, in every form, for a human being, to feel free. Only then a state of true democracy prevails. For an Utopia to be born, the human mind has to be free from fear. Only when we think free, we act free. The rest is just what we want and how we want it to be.

Thank you Salvwi for nominating me for this.

Since I do not know a lot of bloggers, I nominate anybody and everybody from the blogger world to take up this challenge and write about their favourite quotes.

The 3 day Quote Challenge is all about:
  1. Post one of your favourite quotes (different quote on each day) on three consecutive days. The quote can be from your favourite book, author or your own.
  2. Nominate 3 bloggers with each post to challenge them.
  3. Thank the blogger, who nominated you.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Quote Challenge - Day 1



I love quotes, especially the ones which befits the situation we are in at a point of time. It makes me believe somebody has gone through what I am currently going through and listening to his/her experience and wisdom is the finest way of inspiring myself. I feel I am a part of the journey, already traversed by a great soul.

On Day 1, I would like to mention the entire commencement speech by Steve Jobs at Stanford University (2005)as THE QUOTE which inspires me the most. I am sure all of you have come across it. If you haven't, I would sincerely urge you to do the same at the earliest. The lines, mentioned at the beginning of this post, are the ones which appeal the most to me in the entire address. I came across them while reading about Steve Jobs. Its been my favourite since then. In fact, I have a print out pinned to my cubicle wall which I religiously read to myself before I start work every single day.

These lines empower me. It reinforces the fact that we are the best masters of our self. It makes death look more like a milestone rather than a tombstone. Every time I read it, I feel like doing justice to my talent, my wishes, my knowledge, my ambition and my life. It stresses the fact that I am living my life for myself. Not for somebody else. It makes me fearless and resist the norm, if I know what's right and what's wrong. When I look at these lines, I also look at Steve and I feel he is speaking to me and only me and urging me to make that change in my life, which I have been postponing for no reason - logical or good enough. It frees me of the unwanted shackles holding onto me.

These lines, in fact the entire commencement address, has an utmost significance in my life. It has made me confident of the decisions I have taken till now and the ones I will ever take in future. It has made me tread on the career I wanted to and simultaneously leave behind everyone, who was illogical and dogmatic. Its not just a quote but a way of life for me.

Thank you Salvwi for nominating me for this wonderful challenge! I am fond of quotes and this opportunity gives me the perfect platform to write about the special ones. I have known you from quite a long time and reading your blogs just makes it better to know what goes on inside that creative mind of yours. I love your poems especially and the fact that you still pursue your writing passion so deeply inspires me to pursue mine.

Today I nominate Amit, Samparna and Amrita to take up this challenge. It has been a while since I read something on these lines from you guys.

The 3 day Quote Challenge is all about:
  1. Post one of your favourite quotes (different quote on each day) on three consecutive days. The quote can be from your favourite book, author or your own.
  2. Nominate 3 bloggers with each post to challenge them.
  3. Thank the blogger, who nominated you.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

My Greatest Fear

I fear not to have travelled the world less
Or be known more for my ignorance
Ignominy or poverty don't scare me either
Let alone loneliness, despair or sickness.

Break my trust, I shall feel low
Leave me and go, I will not follow
Love me less, I will love you more
Make me cry and I shall mature.

As long as I have the hope
Of meeting them someday somewhere
I am not afraid of life's game
Sometimes fair sometimes unfair

Facing my fear, I for sure abhor
It being a part of me, I just can't ignore.
Quite like every one here,
I too have my greatest fear.

Just can't lose the people I love and care for
And survive a life with no trace of before.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

When they got to talk...

When my mind and my heart got to talking; the conversation went something like this:


Mind: Is it alright to be a no one amidst this chaos of career, fame, money and its ilk?

Heart :  Absolutely. Everything is unlimited. You can never have the bigger pie. Go for wisdom, love, health, spirituality and peace instead. Live content.

Mind: Should we always dream of the future and analyse the past?

Heart : Stop analysing. Keep dreaming. Whatever keeps you happy. Live in the moment.

Mind: Is it ideal to plan for everything in our life?

Heart: Don't be a coward. Face the uncertainties life offers you. That's the plan life's got for you.

Mind: Is it fine to disappoint people around us?

Heart: Perfectly. You are not you if you don't have a few disappointed relationships around you.

Mind: Should we start searching for our happiness in others happiness? 

Heart: Everybody is searching for their own share of happiness. You search for yours. If both of you meet, greet and walk on.

Mind: Is it stupid to display our emotion? Prove our feeling?

Heart: Where lies trust and genuineness, there is no need to prove. Displaying it or not depends on whether it makes you happy or not.

Mind: Fast is good. Affairs are bad. Silence is weakness. Travel.Save money. What else?

Heart: Do what you want to do. Nothing is good or bad. These are all views and you have yours too. You have no memory of your past life and you got just this one to live.

Mind: Thank you! It helped.

Heart: It was my opinion. You have your own. And that's the reason the person reading our conversation is so doomed.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

One fine day...

It was more than six years since Myrah and Kabeer were married. They knew each other since under-grad and after a steady five year old relationship, decided to tie the knot with parents consent. The initial years of marriage were good, just as it is for any couple. But things started to fall apart gradually after the third year. Kabeer, unwillingly, left his well settled and comfortable job for a career in writing. He always wanted to be a writer but the constraints and expectations of domestic life had bound him in fetters. When Myrah supported him in this decision and convinced that there was no better time than then to do what he wanted to do, he left the reins of the house in the hands of Myrah completely. They knew the storm they were getting into but they were optimistic enough to beat it. They felt their love was enough but they underplayed the role their will power had to play in this journey of theirs.

Kabeer took to writing full time while Myrah continued with her job. She worked in a MNC and was earning enough to take care of the bills and rents, if not save a lot. This continued for a while until Myrah started falling sick frequently. She was diagnosed with CKD stage 5. Frequent dialysis and treatment ate up a significant part of their savings. Even though her company paid for the major part of it, their savings completely dried up by the end of her treatment. Things got a bit complicated when parents came into the picture. All of them were unaware of Kabeer being unemployed for over a year.While Kabeer's parents held Myrah responsible for the ongoing expenses, Myrah's parents questioned Kabeer's capability of earning.This unnecessary blame game between their parents forced them to ask their parents to leave them for good. 

After Myrah came back from hospital, Kabeer decided to leave his budding career for a company job. He felt it was better for Myrah to take rest for a while while he took care of the house. He knew that it would take him some time to get his works published and subsequently earn him the money. But neither did he have the time nor the patience then. Myrah didn't want him to but her physical condition and their financial position advised otherwise. She took a sabbatical for two years from her company and rested at home while Kabeer took to job hunt. But it wasn't easy to get a job after a career break, as opposed to what Kabeer or Myrah had thought. Entrepreneurship or a break to do something on your own doesn't always go down well with recruiters. Kabeer had a tough time to be employed back. Every job offer that he had in hand was offering him less than he deserved. His degree or his ego wasn't allowing him to accept it. In the meanwhile, their Provident Fund was their sole source of income. Their parents tried to help but Kabeer and Myrah have had enough. They simply refused and after a while due to their continued persistence, lied to them about Kabeer's job. Things did not improve even after a year. Kabeer was losing his confidence quicker than his PF. Their marriage had taken a toll too. Unemployment, lack of social life, tight budgets and every other negative sentiment had taken precedence over their love.

After another 6 months of continued failure at getting a job/pay of his satisfaction, Kabeer accepted the post of a junior executive in a small company. He felt it would put an end to the growing tensions between Myrah and him, at least temporarily. But he was wrong. Myrah wanted their marriage to move to the next level now. She wanted them to have a child. Kabeer was totally against it. He felt they were not fully prepared to entertain this decision for another year at least. Myrah tried to reason with him but in vain. In the meanwhile, her sabbatical was over by then and she had resumed her job recently. But the break had changed a lot of things for her at office, She did not get the recognition she used to get. There was a huge pressure on her in terms of working hours, commitments and travel at office. She was being treated as if she took a paid leave all this while. She wanted to start her career afresh but upon careful self-counselling, she felt she should get back to job after her maternity leave once and for all. In Kabeer's defense, he wanted a year to settle down properly. Their growing differences in decisions and willingness led to further crack in their marriage until one night when the blame game shifted to each other rather than anyone else. They exchanged heated words, glares with emotions welling up high on both sides and finally sleeping over the fight, unresolved.

Next day morning, Myrah left home for no specific destination. She felt life was too unfair to her. In her cognition, her dreams or her wishes weren't too ambitious to be denied to her. She felt her marriage which was until then her strongest pillar, was also crumbling down. Her failed attempts at motherhood further eroded her optimism about life.Nothing was going right. She didn't know what to do. She felt she wanted a break from everything to fix it all. Even from Kabeer.

 She walked and walked until she saw someone familiar standing in front of her, smiling at her and murmuring a few words too but her inner noise had submerged her into a calm unknown. Finally she was ousted out of her self.

"Hi Myrah.. How are you? Been a long time!!"- said she.

Myrah tried hard to recognize and the name almost came to her lips but she still could not remember.

"Myrah!!!!Myrah!!!"

"Anshiiiii!!! Where were you? How are you? You completely disappeared after college. I called you so many times. But you never picked up.What's up with you?" - cried out Myrah. 

She looked at Anshi as if the latter had come out of the ashes. Anshi smiled. Then they hugged each other tight.

"Let's go to the nearby cafe. I will answer each and every question of yours." - said Anshi.


Having ordered two cappuccinos, the two friends continued with their conversation...

Anshi, Myrah and Kabeer were engineering friends. While Myrah and Kabeer went ahead with further higher studies, Anshi joined a PSU. Despite being close friends, Anshi had distanced herself from Myrah after a few months of graduating from college. In fact she was not in contact with anyone. Anshi dated one of their batchmates, named Aariz during college. The fate of the relationship, being inter-religious, was unknown then. Aariz however married a girl from his own religion later. Kabeer and Myrah got to know it through social media. The relationship got over from that day for everyone else at least. 

Three cappuccinos got over, the sun too was about to retire but the two friends seemed to be there to think deep and conspire. Finally they asked for the cheque. While Myrah tried to pay for it, Anshi snatched it from her and smiled back saying "Let this one be on me". They hugged each other tight before bidding bye and when Myrah invited Anshi over to her place, Anshi told "Next Time. When life's better." They smiled at each other and headed in opposite directions.

On her way back, Myrah could not stop thinking. But this time it wasn't about her. All of a sudden, her life seemed good. Few things were not fair but they could all be set right. Everyone, she realized, had their own share of darkness. He/She who waited patiently for the sun might/will see the end of the night. There was no point trying to fix life. It will happen the way it is destined to. We can only fix ourselves and the way we chose to deal with it. She could not but help admire Anshi now.

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"My father opposed my marriage with Aariz. But I was stubborn too. I made it clear to my parents that I would not come home until they agreed to my marriage with him. Neither my parents took a step forward in this nor I. Initially my father and I would still talk to each other about everything else but for Aariz. Later, however, my father stopped talking to me. My mother told me that he was ill and that he wanted to see me. I did not believe them and accused them of emotionally blackmailing me. We stopped talking for about a year until one day I got to know that Aariz was getting married to someone else. I could not blame Aariz either. He had waited for me for more than 2 years, as promised. I had always decided to be true to both my loves - my parents and Aariz. So I decided never to marry and wished Aariz good luck for his future. I headed to home that day to tell my parents how their stubbornness had succeeded and yet failed. Upon reaching home, I found out that my father had expired seven months back. I didn't know what to do, what to prove and whom to prove. My ego, my pride, my decision - nothing mattered in the face of my father's death. Despite all this, my mother hugged me and probably cried far more than she had cried the day my father died."

"After six months, I married Kushal. It was a match arranged by my uncles and aunties. Kushal was from a well to do and good family. He was working in a software firm. I left my job to shift to a metro where he was working. My mother was happy for me and probably I was happy too, more for my mother than for myself. I felt I had undone the damage I did earlier to some extent by this marriage. But the truth was, I was indeed happily married. Kushal is a caring and loving husband and a good son too. We were blessed with a baby girl after 2 years of our marriage. Everyone and everything around us seemed to be happy and good. It was our daughter's first birthday and Kushal was returning from office that day to be with us for the celebrations. He met with a car accident. Fortunately he was saved but due to heavy injuries, he went into a coma. He still is in coma. I became a living corpse thereafter. I was unable to figure out why these things happened to me and only me. I started questioning everything in life. I went into a self-denial mode. But when my in laws put my baby girl in my laps, I found a sense of purpose in my life. I was living not only for myself but for others around me too. I grew optimistic about Kushal too. At least I can still sense his breath. I felt lucky against hundreds of others who had lost their kith and kin in this and other such accidents and mishaps. I hugged my baby girl tight and took her close to Kushal and made her touch against his forehead. It gave me a different sense of satisfaction and happiness."

" Ayushi is two years old now. Few days back, she was diagnosed with a condition in her heart for which she will have to use a VAD later in her life. I am not amazed. I have started counting my blessings before it becomes too few. Everything in our life is beyond our control, except for the state of our mind. Either I run away from it or I face it as it comes. The choice is mine. I still believe that I have good days ahead. If God had to take away Kushal and Ayushi from me, he would have done it earlier. He is just testing me. And I will patiently get tested with the hope that life gets better and fair."

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Myrah had reached home. She hurried towards the bedroom to find Kabeer. She had decided to hug him and tell him that "Everything will be all right Sweetheart. I am with you." There was a different glint in her eyes. The eyes of hope. She was happy after a long time. Strange it is, but sometimes we human beings, find our happiness amidst the turmoil of others. That again is life and we.

Finally she opened the door of her bed room and stood aghast. 

If only Kabeer met Anshi!